Lawn of the Dead – Garden Wargames – and other creative misreadings

Lawn of the Dead?

This was an unfortunate misreading of a toy collectors price guide 2019 magazine article about Warlord Games entitled “Dawn of the Lead”, a snappy title which actually makes little sense in view of their mostly plastic output. It may refer to the ‘Lead Belt’ of miniature figure makers in Nottingham. This Lead Belt was not much evident when I lived and worked there for a few months in the early 90s.

‘Lawn of the Dead’ would of course be much better as a title of a Garden Wargames post. It sounds like the aftermath of an H.G. Wells type Little Wars battle.

‘Lawn of the Dead’, obviously based on the zombie spoof comedy movie Shawn of the Dead, has been used as a title for a short film, World Of Warcraft online game scenario, Plants versus Zombies video games adventure, weird gnome producers and so on. Google it and see.

‘Lawn of the Dead’ for me conjures up visions of a Wellsian toy soldier battlefield in the grassy garden with figures strewn around after the fighting.

Not as good a pun though as Alan at the Duchy of Tradgardland’s blog who once had a blog or short lived web page called By The Sward Divided, on outdoor gaming. A good pun on the 1980s BBC TV drama series set during the English Civil War, By The Sword Divided.

Most of my creative misreadings come about because my eyesight is not brilliant, having been born with a lazy eye, so that everything is normally a little blurry, text especially, without the glasses I wear for driving or watching TV.


Other creative misreadings that I have been foolish enough to mention out loud include:

The Vanishing Shop (of John Preston?) in place of the Furnishing Shop (of John Preston?). “On the run, need to disappear? If you can find us, we can help.”

Ironically this real shop has now itself gone. Mysterious.

Elephant Milk instead of Peninsula Milk largely due to the SW peninsula map of Devon and Cornwall, which kind of looks like an elephant head in profile. We were following this milk tanker near Paignton Zoo and it kind of made weird sense at the time.

It’s true I didn’t dream this – Peninsula Milk were once based in Okehampton Devon

Man with Large Hands’ (followed by phone contact number) instead of the correct reading ‘Man with Large Van’.

During Covid Lockdown, glancing at a BBC Online news headline that I was sure said “The number of ghosts allowed at a wedding or funeral has been increased” – this makes no sense really, how would you police this anyway?

The Ladybird Book of Disappointing Mammals (“that one’s a bit rubbish, all it does is sleep …it’s not deadly at all”), rather than the more accurate and educational Disappearing Mammals.

Sometimes real life is a little duller than the creative misreading.

Anyone else suffer from this affliction, the eyesight version of predictive text on your phone? Anyone else have a favourite misreading?

Feel free to share it in the comments section.

Blog posted by Mark Man of TIN, 29 / 30 July 2021


B.P.S. Blog Post Script

If you came seeking Garden Wargames, do not be disappointed, read our past blog posts:


5 thoughts on “Lawn of the Dead – Garden Wargames – and other creative misreadings”

  1. Well, I really expected to see your lawn covered in plastic zombies. I love those little munchers and used to set up zombie games for my little girl where the civilians had to escape the clutches of the Undead. I also used units of them in fantasy games.
    How about Shorn Of the Dead where a hero ram saves the sheep from the zombie farmers?
    By the way, I loved Shaun Of The Dead. I especially like how, to begin with, the locals were so lacking life that it was impossible to tell the living from the dead when they turned; the scene where Shaun leaves money on the counter for the mumbling (now zombie) owner was very funny and reminded me of many people in my home town.
    As for outdoor battle, I have played quite a few, although mostly with plastics that are a lot easier to move around when moving a regiment on a movement board.


    1. Really the lawn should be covered in plastic Zombies, after calling in the “nuclear option” of the Lawn Mower. Always a terrible end to any stray Airfix figures left in the grass.

      Shorn of the Dead – very good and a use for all those farm animals acquired over the years.

      Somehow the zombie puns just keep coming … fittingly, they just won’t die!

      I accidentally bought the Zombies! board game as a speedy discrete or secret purchase for a family surprise Christmas gift, only to open it on Christmas Day and realise how gruesome and unfamily friendly some of the illustrations and gaming cards were. Carcasonne with tiles and meeples it wasn’t!

      Maybe I was beguiled by the flexible card tile street system and almost Airfix OOHO size unpainted plastic zombie civilians. I’ve kept it all for future game-bashing, maybe without the original rules and cards …


    2. “The mumbling (now zombie) owner was very funny and reminded me of many people in my home town”!!!!!
      Look out the window – are the neighbours and your “dissed” townsfolk (dead or undead) all out there as a mumbling, stumbling, angry mob, surrounding your house, knocking at the doors and windows, armed with torches and pitchforks?

      That’s your bid for Councillor / Mayor and the Town Hall ruined …


  2. Really enjoyed the post a great fun read over the first coffee of the day. My favourite was Disappointing Mammals . Perhaps there could be one called Disobliging Camels for those who run caravans ?


    1. Disobliging Camels indeed. Stubborn beasts! I glimpse this Disappointing Mammals book from time to time, which is cover forward on a shelf and still wish the Misreading were true …


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