Lawn of the Dead – Garden Wargames – and other creative misreadings

Lawn of the Dead?

This was an unfortunate misreading of a toy collectors price guide 2019 magazine article about Warlord Games entitled “Dawn of the Lead”, a snappy title which actually makes little sense in view of their mostly plastic output. It may refer to the ‘Lead Belt’ of miniature figure makers in Nottingham. This Lead Belt was not much evident when I lived and worked there for a few months in the early 90s.

‘Lawn of the Dead’ would of course be much better as a title of a Garden Wargames post. It sounds like the aftermath of an H.G. Wells type Little Wars battle.

‘Lawn of the Dead’, obviously based on the zombie spoof comedy movie Shawn of the Dead, has been used as a title for a short film, World Of Warcraft online game scenario, Plants versus Zombies video games adventure, weird gnome producers and so on. Google it and see.

‘Lawn of the Dead’ for me conjures up visions of a Wellsian toy soldier battlefield in the grassy garden with figures strewn around after the fighting.

Not as good a pun though as Alan at the Duchy of Tradgardland’s blog who once had a blog or short lived web page called By The Sward Divided, on outdoor gaming. A good pun on the 1980s BBC TV drama series set during the English Civil War, By The Sword Divided.

Most of my creative misreadings come about because my eyesight is not brilliant, having been born with a lazy eye, so that everything is normally a little blurry, text especially, without the glasses I wear for driving or watching TV.


Other creative misreadings that I have been foolish enough to mention out loud include:

The Vanishing Shop (of John Preston?) in place of the Furnishing Shop (of John Preston?). “On the run, need to disappear? If you can find us, we can help.”

Ironically this real shop has now itself gone. Mysterious.

Elephant Milk instead of Peninsula Milk largely due to the SW peninsula map of Devon and Cornwall, which kind of looks like an elephant head in profile. We were following this milk tanker near Paignton Zoo and it kind of made weird sense at the time.

It’s true I didn’t dream this – Peninsula Milk were once based in Okehampton Devon

Man with Large Hands’ (followed by phone contact number) instead of the correct reading ‘Man with Large Van’.

During Covid Lockdown, glancing at a BBC Online news headline that I was sure said “The number of ghosts allowed at a wedding or funeral has been increased” – this makes no sense really, how would you police this anyway?

The Ladybird Book of Disappointing Mammals (“that one’s a bit rubbish, all it does is sleep …it’s not deadly at all”), rather than the more accurate and educational Disappearing Mammals.

Sometimes real life is a little duller than the creative misreading.

Anyone else suffer from this affliction, the eyesight version of predictive text on your phone? Anyone else have a favourite misreading?

Feel free to share it in the comments section.

Blog posted by Mark Man of TIN, 29 / 30 July 2021


B.P.S. Blog Post Script

If you came seeking Garden Wargames, do not be disappointed, read our past blog posts: